Sew this up with threads of reason nd regret.

2007-04-15T21:57:00.000+08:00

I think shankari, is super adorable.
She's like super nice to me.
And I am super in love with her. =D

2006-12-16T10:50:00.000+08:00

Went for tk concert yesterday!
Gris was rushing so we all had to get home by her 11pm curfew!
Alright enough about yesterday (:
There's something else.

If you wanna make me feel this way,
I FUCK WHATEVER SHIT YOURE GIVING ME.
Fuck Fuck Fuck
Love don't giva a fuck,
It just ain't worth anything.

2006-12-14T18:46:00.000+08:00

This is for you my LOVE

I think i know that my search is over.
We both know that this is what we want.
It seems so right.
I hope it'll remain right.
It better still be right in time to come.
I don't want anything to change.
Not now, not anytime soon.
We both know how to treat each other now.
So nothing can go wrong, right?
But let's take it slow, baby.
It's not that we'd get bored of each other.
I just want us to savour every moment together.

xoxo,

2006-12-12T02:32:00.000+08:00

I understand your point of view of letting me go But I thought you had
more faith Everything I've done for you You made the
mistakes and now you throw this in my face
And I have worked so hard for you all of this time and you cast
me aside I understand your point of view But I can't seem to get my head around
All the things that I feel good about always seem to disappear And everytime I
think I've got this all worked out Something chews me up and spits me out But there's nothing left to fear I'm better alone my dear You couldn't pick a better time to give me the news Why don't you kick me when I'm down? I'd always
believed in you Defended your name but you have not been
true I gave you so much of my life I've
compromised and you tell me goodbye You couldn't pick a
better time And I can't seem to get my head around All the things that I feel good about
always seem to disappear And everytime I think I've got this all worked out Something
chews me up and spits me out But there's nothing left to fear I'm better alone my dear I
know I really should thank you for setting me free It's really
amazing the changes I'm starting to feel ~~It's not gonna~~
~~be long till I'm fit and strong~~ Deliverance helped me
heal still I wonder if you ever wish you still had me Will I ever get my head around All the
things that I feel good about that always seem to disappear When every time I think I've
got this all worked out Something chews me up and spits me out But there's nothing left
to fear No No No I can't seem to get my head around All the things that I feel good about
that always seem to disappear No No And everytime I think I've got this figured out
Something screws me up and drags me down But there's nothing left to fear I'm better
alone my dear ~~And I'm almost over and done with you.~~

2006-12-10T12:06:00.000+08:00

The audacity to have me with you
Baby, seem like everywhere i go i see you
From your eyes I smile, its like I breathe you
Helplessly I reminisce, don't want to
Compare nobody to you
Know that I can't get over you
Cause everything I see is you
And I don't want no substitute
Seeing, things that I know can't be, am I dreaming?
~~When I saw you walking past me almost called your name~~
~~Got a better glimpse and then I looked away~~
~~Cause like i'm losing it~~
Baby I can't go anywhere
without thinking that you're there
Seems like you're everywhere it's true
Cause in my mind I want you here
Get on the next plane I dont care
Is it because I'm missing you?

2006-12-07T20:57:00.000+08:00

Alone in this house again tonight
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me
The way that it was and could have been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walking away
I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that being strong meant never losing your self-control
Buy I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry
Would it help if I turned a sad song on
The lonliness would sure hit me hard now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But i'll never get over you by hiding this away.

I fell for her smile
And she loved me for a while
Then she said good-bye gotta go
Left me standing on the side of the road
Now she's gone and I'm a memory in her past
And the long and short of it some things never last.

2006-12-06T20:27:00.000+08:00

You're strange nd beautiful.
You'd be so perfect with me.
And honestly, to look you in the eye
it's easier to lie.
And maybe, i could be the one you need
if you'd only show me.
Seems i'm standing on the edge;
looking down i can clearly see your face
In the crowd
Still makes me feel like i'm all alone.
If i'm forgiven, I want us to relive those days.
From the times we spent together, to simple ordinary hello-goodbye nowadays.
You're the blade, nd i'm just the paper.
I can get myself shredded anytime.
I know this is a feeling that i just cant fight;
you're just the first nd last thing on my mind.
Here's my kiss to betray.
No body told me you'd feel so good.

Why don't I still feel the same!
CONFUSION!
sweet nothings.

2006-12-04T10:55:00.000+08:00

Hush Hush Darling,
I awesomely miss you.♥

Beautiful you are
you I choose I look to the stars
For a girl like you
And what I lost I have found
And we'll wait around
For the girl that is you

Maybe a chance I could have with her
We shared a glance
At least I thought we were
And what I have lost I have found
And we'll wait around
For the girl that is you

You make my heart skip, but how?
I'm scared
What do I do
I'm stuck here all alone

I gotta get out
I'm here all alone
And I'm thinking of you
You're on my mind
I try to talk to you
But you never give me the time of day
I dream of us
And wake up alone

We'll take the bus
But I'm still at home
And what I've done I'll do
And then it's just me and you
And then you leave in May
You leave me hard and lonely
You are my one and only

You are Such and beautiful thing
And all goods things must come to an end

2006-11-29T04:34:00.000+08:00

BYE, MY LOVE.
I GUESS I GOT TO MAKE MY DECISION TOO (:

& you're the brightest star I never ever want to lose.
baby, all I need is you. I'll do it 1217 times just to be held captive in your arms.
& I didn't make anything seem better. It was never like this before. Even if you're hating this, it's 1217 always & forever. goodnight, BABY love :B
And I dislike days where I miss you so much.
The anticipation kills nd shred me to bits & pieces. a new day, hoping to be with you till the end of time. LOVE.
and I know you're in my heart. you can say you don't love me too, please say you do. baby, why don't you see that i need you here with me. I'm gone.
the hardest part, i have to get through this. you are the only one i'll love, now nd forever. All have failed, i'm still glad that i had you. break down, baby.
I can't ash. I can't, it's not that I don't want to but I really can't and I can't bear to. I've fallen deeply, this heart is yours to keep.
I'm not letting you go. I'm broken but I'm still hoping. I am just tongue-tied. I'm really in a mess now. It'll all seem better soon, i'm having faith.

Sweetheart, so can i now say that all these were lies?
But its not the question now.
I guess maybe I've got to say all of these back to you?
Why is it that I was able to give in, but not you?
I never meant to fall in love with you.

Alright i'm off now all the way to her crib all alone.
I'd be waiting there for you.

2006-11-28T18:33:00.000+08:00

Baby set me free from this misery
I can't take it no more
Since you went away nothing's been the same.
Don't know what i'm living for
Here i am so alone
And there's nothing in the world i can do
Until you're back here baby.
I miss you, i want you, i need you.
There's this feeling inside i want you to know
You are the one and i can't let go.
So i told you lies even made you cry.
Baby i was so wrong.
I promise you now my love is true.
Right here is where your heart belongs.
And i wonder
Are you ever coming back in my life?
There's a feeling inside I want you to know
You are the one and I can't let you go.
But still, I'm waiting with open arms.
Even if I put in my heart nd soul, it all depends on you.
Cause I'm trying to reach my goal,
Which is helping you find the truth.
For I may not be in this world forever.
But spending my time with you is forever.
Like you keep saying, we'll carry on.
Cause life is a phenomenon.

What am i supposed to do
With all these hurt
Haunting me everywhere
No matter what i do
Watching the candle flicker out
in the evening glow
I can't let go.
When will the night be over.
I didn't mean to fall in love with you
And baby there's a name,
For what you put me through
It isn't love, it's robbery
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you nd me.
Seen alot of broken hearts
And one of them is mine
Raising my glass
I sing a toast to the midnight sky
I wonder why
The stars don't seem to guide me.
I didn't mean to fall in love with you.

2006-11-27T17:01:00.000+08:00

She wilted off ;

And my heart feels RIPPED apart.

If you want the truth, well girl im not alright
Feel out of place, nd out of time,
I think i'm gonna lose my mind.

2006-11-14T14:53:00.000+08:00

Right, apparently ash hasn't updated more than one month. Bt she goes online and wastes her time away MSN-ing and YOUTUBE-ing. HAHA. I don't know why she has a blog even. Such a loser ? okay lah, don't be so mean. ha. I was just bored so I did a new template ? ha. I hope you like it cause it's EMO ? I don't know lah, you.

oh, there's a word to describe you.
It fits you, oh so TOTALLY.

MELANCHOLIC.
xoxo.

2006-10-03T19:18:00.000+08:00

give me a reason, to free myself from t reason. I do not have enough courage to want you, much less leave you. please, hint me a calling on whats left to do. Because most of the time, i miss you too. I'm prepared as such, for stageplays like these I forshure, have been through once again. This time, if fate takes my place and absence is your choice i'll be the hostage, and this time i'll trade hearts to kill.

Best of luck for the finals, baby (:
xoxo.

2006-09-27T20:41:00.000+08:00

Hah! Haven't updated in like so long.
Anyway I don't wish to say anything either.
Cuz today was SRCREWED UP.
And I miss HER & HER & HER!
HELL YAW ):

2006-09-25T20:22:00.000+08:00

& apparently someone thinks that she's too smart for school. Pfft. To start of with, She was wasting her whole time being online from the time she woke up from sleep. Tsk. But she does not have the time to update her blog when she's online 24/7. Oh, & my dearest ash's english final year paper is on thursday. How woncderful. She'll do extremely well cause of her brains that register information like SPONGEBOB. Hur, She's so smart. And now, I am trying to call her so many times bt her mobile is off-ed. I bet she's drooling over NURUL MAIDEEN right now watching the finals of SI. Hur, Cause I look like her :D Probably she will scream at me tomorrow seeing this entry. Heh. Goodbye Readers !

xoxo.
Miss Sexy.

2006-08-14T13:43:00.000+08:00

Dear Significant Other,
I've done up your links for you.
And yes, I changed mine too.
See you soon, love you (:

xoxo.

This is my mixtape for you.
Thanks for acted like your cared
and making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done
You were everything,
everything that I wanted
We were meant to be
suppose to be but we lost it
All of the memories so
close to me just fade away
All this time you were pretnding
So much for my ~~HAPPY ENDING.~~

2006-08-10T04:19:00.000+08:00

Fairytales are beyond stories; they are written dreams.
I solemnly swear that i'm up to no good.
This desire so dark, Ii thought i never loved.
This disaster behind every beautiful LOVE!
Alot has happened just in the gap of two days.
I'm quite sure of what i'm doing nd what i want;
but it leads me to uncertainity at times.
That's why i wanna live away from everything close to me.
I don't know where its gonna lead me to nd how long its gonna last. Somehow, I feel like i'd be better this way. but it doesn't seem to be working out.

I MISS HER
But i dont seem to be bothered.

Happy 17th, this is for you ):
My heart skips a beat when the msg comes in.
Why did you stop replying me?
Nobody ever made me feel this way,
I never knew i wanted you this much.
I love you. Come back please.

2006-08-06T22:38:00.000+08:00

Why should all these be happening to me at this point. Its been long since i've updated and their are reasons to why i've not been updating on a daily basis. I'm not gonna list out wht has happened thus far cuz it ain't gonna be of any relief or comfort.
" I'm suffering from a serious case of NOSTALGIA "
Somebody please help, save me.
Why is it tht i've gotta deal with all these all by myself? It makes me feel like a nincompoop. But i'm not a nitwit. I haven't been confiding in anyone either. As much as I want to, I just dont feel like telling anyone. I'd feel as though i'd be burdening someone else, which I don't want. I guess I should just deal with my own probs nd sorrows though i ain't an omniscient. I just wish I could wish upon a nova and everything would go just right. On the other hand, I've got someone telling me that it wasn't worth having given up someone else for me. What's all these man,.,., grrr ):
I guess it was all mere infactuation you had for me?? Its hurts to hear those words from you.
Maybe i'm just a nonetity.

Eff everyone
I don't need anyone at this point of time.
Leave me to bleed on my own.

If I could I would do all this again.
I promise i'd do it all right this time.
Travel back in time with you to where this all began.
We could hide inside ourselves and leave the world behind.
And make believe there's something left to find
If only, you'd give me one last chance.

2006-07-27T22:32:00.000+08:00

Hah! So school's over.
Just one more day for torture to be gone.
There's Phy/Chem and A-maths exams tmr.
E-maths was kinda not-tough today, haha mine nd cecelia's little secret*
SS lsn aft recess. As usual, Kendra & I at the back of the class chatting all the way bout' our stuff.
I was telling her about the girl who I adore from SR! Awww, she's so adorable nd cute ():
Oh my, she carries a red porky sling. I see her almost every morning at the bus-stop before going to sch; just tht we don't knw each other.
Oh then comes 4 periods of Maths.
2 E-maths nd 2 A-maths. Computer-ed the whole of A-maths.
Haha, showed the other five the girlfriends' blog since mine couldn't get signed into.
And then all the five bullied me today. They lifted up my pinafore and pulled down my shorts. WTF la. Haa.
Then went for NDP rehearsal meeting and home-d thereafter!
Addicted to Habbohotel.
Yeah i knw its lame bu its fun in the Lesbian lounge/Club in there.
Soon, the girlfriend decides to surprise me. Oh girl, she looks chubby kinda cute this time with tht little shorts and class tee. Hah... OOPS sorry girlfriend, but i have to say it her that you wore a BLUE TUBE; wht an amazing fascination. Ooh girlfriend, ILU.
She got me Old Chang Kee and was nice enough to feed me as well. " Bye Ash, I'd call you later" and there she goes off to tution.
She calls at 9.35. Haha, we talk for awhile and the line cuts, nd so it led me here.
*Hope you do not forget to call me in the morn tmr girlfriend- Goodnight.

2006-06-22T12:18:00.000+08:00

edgjiuyrfvhjtdn
vbjurdhjvcsweytmk
mnutedvbxdjikhemk,
SUPER FUCKED UP
I FEEL AS THOUGH U DON'T TREAT ME AS YOUR OWN,
BUT JUST DUMP TO PLAY ALONGSIDE.
WHAT DHA FUCK DO U FUCKING HELL GAIN BY HIDING FROM ME?!?!?!?!
U'VE SERIOUSLY PISSED THE SHIT OUTTA ME.
GET LOST IF U DON'T FUCKING NEED ME.
FLIRTATIOUS FUCK;
IF THAT'S WHT U WANNA BE
I DON'T NEED YOU.
fUCK IT.
I DON'T WANNA TALK ABT IT NO MORE.

2006-06-21T20:22:00.000+08:00

haha, had band once again from one to five.
It was prac for the Passing-Out Parade.
Girlfriend was sneaked into sch, haha im so SMART!!

Came to kovan nd spent much tome with that girlfriend,
I missed her much so she skipped tution just to stay a little while longer with me, YAY !

Supposed to go DXO tonight with Wendy nd I-mai.

Top News at Band:

Tame Narnia nd Violent Wary ( Golden monkey nd silly monkey)
Mor Kor Soup gave birth to Lin Yu ting, hahaha!!
New songs created for Mor Kor

2006-06-20T22:47:00.000+08:00

So I had band in the morning , the usual 9 to 12 routine.
She told me she'd be there waiting for me at 12.
But no, she made me fool.
After having waited for an hour nd a half, she finally arrived.
Went home thereafter.
We watched 'Reunion'on my couch.
Girlfriend teared much as it was an emotionally moving show.
We spent time together nd she teared for no rsn.
Upon leaving, my shoe got LOST.
Girlfriend stole it, it was so funny ((:
I tried on court shoes nd all, it made her laugh her head off.
Soon after consigning her to the station, came home nd drop dead flat on my bed.

2006-06-19T22:29:00.000+08:00

Hah, so I didn't go for MOS.
Nd I'm back after a long search party for just one impatient ass.
So this is wht befalled.
I went all the way to chij. stc to wait for her, I'd admit that i was 45 minutes late.
Lingered there for quite some time, saw many of her frens who seem to express to me that she's left.
I felt super fucked-up lah.
So i waited for 855 to come so go to Serene ctr.
The girlfriend was just one 855 bus infront of me.
So she reached there first nd passed Skye some SS notes.
It seemed as though she was too fast for me that when I reached Serene Ctr, I saw GREEDY Skye queuing to buy some food at Mac's.
Tapped her nd ask where that Bathu was, nd she replied that se alr left just 10 mins ago.
I ran all the way to the bus stop agn like a psychotic buffoon,
anticipating to see the girlfriend.
But NO, she left one bus before me agn.
So I took the next 153 bus all the way to kovan stn.
i've gotta admit that it's a real long-winding journey.
Okay so got off at my destination to see that girlfriend percieving me.
Oh nd then it was the usuals, that she was over at my crib.
TSK TSK !!
The girlfriend's always sleepy when she's at my crib
Gee ((: Half Smiles

2006-06-19T11:28:00.000+08:00

Girlfriend calls early in the morn just to speak to me, (:(:(: nd that poor lil thing had got flu ever since two days ago. She's got Oral this morning nd is suffering from concussion.
So she'd decided to piss the fuck outta' me yesterday. She fucking doesn't understand ENGLISH. I'd ask her smth but she'll give me a complete different rejoinder or rather a devious acknowledgement!!!

Nevertheless, I still love her for what she is, hmmpff .

Going down to get her from school later on, actually with a differed intention of seeing my friend. Nd i've gotta say that ***** has got a devastating silhoutte :D
i'm beautifully broken ;

2006-06-18T11:55:00.000+08:00

So i'm back from tution.
Nd today is Rebirth at MOS, haven't quite decided if i wanna go yet. Many stuff left undone, i'll accomplish then nd be back (:

2006-06-17T14:28:00.000+08:00

HELLO !